For most of my life I tried to live up to other people’s expectations: family, friends, teachers, etc. Most of the expectations I was expected to live up to were also directly conflictory with other things I was being told. For example, “you can be anything you want to be, but you can’t do … “. I was also depressed, angsty, frustrated and extremely angry for most of my life.
Even as an adult, living on my own, with my own life, I still heard the voices in my head. Nothing was ever good enough, I had to be perfect, I had to know everything, I had to do things a certain way (which was always different based on whose voice I was hearing), etc. It wasn’t until I began this path of healing and started to learn to turn off those voices in my head that I started to lead my own life, and live up to my own expectations.
When I stopped trying to be perfect for other people, I was finally able to determine how to be perfect for me. When I stopped listening to what others wanted for me, I was finally able to decide what I wanted for myself. When I stopped trying to like what others liked, then I was finally able to determine what I liked for me. When I stopped being for others, and was able to be me, I was also able to start letting go of the negative emotions binding me to others demands.
Healing takes time, and comes in many forms. Holding onto unhealthy, negative thoughts and expectations is limiting and destructive. By learning to tell the echoes of the voices of someone else’s expectations that we hold in our heads “No” we can let go of many of our internal conflicts, we can learn to find our own true perfection for ourselves.