Spending Time Alone

For most of my life, I hated being alone.  I hated the fear of what was going to return, I hated the fear of not having done enough, or done something wrong.  The uncomfortability of being part of a dysfunctional home was preferable to the fear of not knowing.  Plus, having someone else in the … Continue reading Spending Time Alone

Living Up to Expectations

For most of my life I tried to live up to other people's expectations:  family, friends, teachers, etc. Most of the expectations I was expected to live up to were also directly conflictory with other things I was being told.  For example, "you can be anything you want to be, but you can't do ... ".  … Continue reading Living Up to Expectations

The Power Of…

When I was a child, I used to tell my mother, "When I grow up, I am going to have...)", and I would list off all of the things I wanted for my life.  In true fashion for her, my mother would find ways to denigrate every thing I said, and tell me why I … Continue reading The Power Of…

Sudden Changes

This week I had a sudden, unexpected schedule change at work.  I could look at it as an event that got in the way of my prior plans, or I could see it as a benefit to current issues and events in my life.  I prefer the second viewpoint. While my husband and I did … Continue reading Sudden Changes

Stirring Up Old Emotions

One of my lifelong problems has been that I do not usually express my emotions.  I'm the type that can sit in a comedy show with a stone-cold expression on my face.  Over the course of my life, in my experience, anything else is painful.  And yet, it is through my emotions that my passion … Continue reading Stirring Up Old Emotions

Gratitude versus Demand

So my long work weekend is done, and my work week is almost over.  One of the things about my job is that I get to see a lot of people all the time.  Some are regulars, some just stop in, then leave and I never see them again.  But even in those 30 seconds, … Continue reading Gratitude versus Demand

Walking a Long Path

It's late.  Or early, depending on which end of the day you are looking at it from.  Personally, I'm trying to wind down from a busy night at work, so I can sleep before my long couple of days coming up.  But, it's giving me time to think, and remember. Many years ago, when I … Continue reading Walking a Long Path

The Value of Friendship

Many of us will remember as children being told what to, and what not to talk about with others.  Many times, I remember being yelled at by my mother for talking about, what to me, seemed like a small incident or occurrence in the house.  What made it worse for me, is that somehow the … Continue reading The Value of Friendship

Repeating the Same Message

When we hear a message over and over, whether it is from the same source, or multiple sources, our immediate ego reaction is to maybe get irritated, tune it out, try and ignore it.  We may even actively start speaking against it. When this happens, when we hear the same message repeated, it usually indicates … Continue reading Repeating the Same Message

When We Want a Different Answer…

Often in life, we find ourselves repeating the same behaviors every time certain emotional issues come up.  These behaviors can be damaging, both to ourselves, and to those around us.  We know that these behaviors are not working, and yet, we keep doing the same things expecting a different response - a change somewhere else … Continue reading When We Want a Different Answer…