I know that it again has been several days since I have posted anything, but I haven’t been resting during that time. There are many things that I will be updating you all on, and I have also been busy preparing site updates as well. There’s also been events happening that have caused me to rethink some of what has happened, and that is what I am writing about today.
One of the things that is most important about being a minister, or Spiritual leader, is that once you take on that role you, by virtue of the role itself, take on the responsibility and mantle of being an example. It doesn’t mean that you are going to be perfect. But it does mean that you are supposed to try harder to be perfect, to have that moral center so that you can lead others by example. It’s something that I’ve talked about here on prior occasions. It’s also something I struggle with daily.
Recently, I wrote a post about how I used to always write through my emotions, it was a form of catharsis for me. Back then, I was also trying to write fiction, and it wasn’t so public. Things happened, I blocked my emotions and I stopped writing, for years. This time, things were a little different. I started writing, and now my emotions are coming back. I thought I had balance, but recently something happened that showed me just how wrong I was.
Sometimes, it may take me awhile to write a post because I need to find balance, find peace, make sure that I am in the right mental space before I write. I need to make sure I am not trying to write in a specific direction, that I am letting the Spirit write the message, not me. Not that long ago I failed in that. I made the mistake of writing while angry. I had no balance, no peace. It wasn’t the Spirit writing. It was me. And I was wrong.
In writing that post, in sharing it, I failed. I failed myself, I failed You, I failed the Spirit and the gift I have been granted. And I haven’t wanted to write since. So it’s been a long time since I’ve written.
You see, growing up, like most of us, we learn by the people around us to blame what we do on things outside us, and the solution likewise must come from somewhere else. This is one of the biggest issues that we face in this world. We even do this with religion, with our faith.
So today, I’m stepping up. I’m changing that. I’m not going to put the blame out there. I’m going to try and lead by example. In writing that post I was wrong. Deeply so. And I owe you an apology.
Never again will I make the mistake of letting my emotions lead me when I write here. This page is for the Spirit. And the Spirit will be my guide from now on.