New Year New Beginnings
Greetings, Warriors, and (hopefully) Happy New Year. If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you’ll know that this past year has been brutal for me, perhaps even the worst I’ve ever experienced (and, yes, that’s taking into account the hell we all went through in 2020-2021). I actually sat down about a week ago and starting writing out everything that had happened this past year, and quite frankly, it’s no wonder I am dealing with depression constantly. The list I wrote was no less than 10 items long, with something happening every month or two! That’s enough for anyone to become depressed, let alone someone who was diagnosed with Cyclothymia over 30 years ago!
But I’m not here today to play victim. Rather, this is an opportunity for me to reflect, on the people I lost (two items on my list were close friends who passed away), choices I could have made differently, things I had no control over but still affected me on a deep emotional level (the LA fires where I grew up, and the celebrity deaths that rocked my generation).
What I think about the most, though, is just how much time has passed. When you’re a kid, time passes so slowly it seems as though there is always too much time until something big happens (the next big holiday, vacation, etc). As an older adult, there is never enough time. Holidays and birthdays come too soon, vacations are never long enough and there is always something else that has to be done. I can get past all of that though.
This past year hasn’t been about holidays, events or anything like that. This year the focus has been aging. I’ve always been the one to hide out and read a book, listen to music, write, etc. But I’m also really into hiking, camping and getting into the backwoods areas where no one else exists, where it’s just me and nature. This past year has shown me that I just don’t have the physical capabilities that I used to. I can still go camping, but hiking into a hidden area carrying all my gear… maybe not so much.
This past year has been brutal, but it’s also been awakening. Like most of us I had carried ideas about myself about who I am and what I’m capable of. Last year shattered those ideas. Now I am waking up to a new reality, and new beginnings. It’s still my life, and I am still in charge. Just now, maybe with a little more realism than I did before.
Blessed Be.
The Warriors Den 