Good Morning, Warriors! And what a day it is today! I’m feeling a bit more refreshed this morning, and I hope you are as well. The last few days, I’ve kind of been in a little bit of shock and surprise mode, as my last blog got a few responses that kind of blew me away.
I’m used to hearing people not understand the situation between my spouse and I. Mental illness and care giving are difficult subjects if you are not directly involved, and each situation is unique to the people involved. But the responses I got from a new site that I’ve been posting on, were from people who admitted they refused to read the entire post, were rather surprising, particularly as these people chose to make things very personal and insulting (if I had chosen to take it that way). But what was most shocking was that most of the responses, and insults were from someone who said that she was working on her Doctorate in Abnormal Psychology!
My immediate response was to start doing what I used to do quite frequently – defend myself, and my spouse. And then I stopped. And I started to look at various conversations and lessons that I have experienced in my life, and I went, “I don’t have to do this!” I erased the response I was working on, and reminded myself that I don’t need to defend myself. I have nothing to defend. My experiences are my own, as are my spouse’s, just as the experiences of the people responding are their experiences. I can’t judge their experience because I haven’t walked their path. In addition, if someone says something that I have feel defensive about, or that I don’t like, that’s on me. If I have a problem with something someone else says, then I need to look at myself, not at them.
I also recognized that these people admitted that they did not read the entire post, and it was obvious by their responses. I realized that if they were not going to read the full post, they certainly were not going to change their opinions based on my responses either. Their minds had already been made up, and nothing I said would change that. My spouse will tell you that is the definition of a fanatic. I may happen to agree with the definition, but I’m not going to set that judgment on someone else. Again, I haven’t lived their life. I don’t know.
I can also tell you that the responses from this person who is working on her degree, while I value and honor the knowledge, she also exemplified the exact problems in the system that I was writing about. While I understand her need to defend her chosen field, I would find it very difficult to work with her in a therapeutic setting. I would hope that any person who chooses to work in the medical or mental health field would read all of the information provided before jumping to a conclusion that may be incorrect. Both my spouse and I have been through this situation before, and know well that there can be no trust in the person who is supposed to be helping you, and it often creates more damage and trauma (particularly in the mental health field). I also know that were I not involved in this situation, had I come across her responses through a random scroll through social media posts, I would also have to question whether or not that would be someone I could trust should I need the kind of services she provides, and as an employer, I would have to question the same thing.
Now, I don’t want to judge anyone. My posts are available for anyone who wants to read them, and I do hope that people find value in them. If they can help others, then I am deeply grateful for that. I know that these responses, were only a few, and only on one site. I had other responses that were beautiful and amazing, some in person, some not. I am grateful for them all. I simply ask the same thing I have always asked: Keep an open mind.
Warriors, Thank You for your time, and for reading this. It feels wonderful to be coming back, and I do feel like I am coming back to life. You are a big part of my return. Know that we are all in this together, and that none of us is ever alone.
Blessed Be.
The Warriors Den 