Once again, it’s been a long time since I posted a blog. And this is one that I started a couple weeks ago. Under the circumstances with everything that’s happened so far, I think it’s time that I finish it.
My exposure to writing and books came almost as soon as I was born. My grandmother was a children’s librarian, so books and education weren’t just a part of my childhood. They were the thing in our family. I started learning to read when I was three, was reading children’s books on my own by age four while my grandmother would read me “The Wind In The Willows” and “The Hobbit”. By age five I was up to young adult books, and before I hit my preteens I was reading full adult novels. Writing wasn’t much far behind. I was was getting compliments early in fourth grade, and by seventh grade I was trying to write short stories, and teachers were already suggesting I become a writer professionally.
High school came, and my English grades and test scores were still consistently well above what the school system tracked, and while I still puttered with poetry and little stuff, I didn’t pursue writing as a potential career. In fact, much like many others, I was still trying to figure out this life thing and what I wanted to do, not what others were trying to push me into. Plus, fighting depression and lack of self-worth made it incredibly difficult for me to even try to “put my name out there” so to speak.
It wasn’t until college, when I started taking communication courses, was still pulling top grades in English, and I had the opportunity handed to me to work for the school paper that I finally accepted writing as a possibility for a future. Then, in my final semester, a bomb dropped. That’s when I discovered that in news, truth wasn’t important, keeping the readers happy and distracted was. It was a crushing blow emotionally.
For years, I half-heartedly kept trying to create a way to work with writing, but nothing worked. I had lost the drive to pursue writing as a career. Then several years later, I had the inspiration to write, not one, but a series of three novels. It was brilliant. I had several friends read it, and everyone kept wanting to know what happened next in the story. But, as often happened at the time, someone kept telling what to write into the story.
Then, catastrophe happened. I was in the middle of working on the book, and had another chapter-and-a-half written when my hard drive crashed and I lost everything that hadn’t been posted to the online blog page I had at the time. I was devastated. Broken-hearted, I stopped writing. I tried to start a few other projects, a prophecy comparison, tried to get into music, but just couldn’t do it. For years I had no creative spark. The light had gone out.
The music started to come back a few years ago, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t get back to the writing. Then recently, an opportunity struck. One I really couldn’t turn down. This was the turning point for my writing. I recently found a site where writers can become independent contractors for various projects. And while it sounds like one of those things that could be a scam, it so happens that I know someone who is already doing it! I started a profile, and while it took a while to get started, I am, in fact, finally doing what I used to dream of!
While I’m not thrilled about the current project I’m working on, I do see it as a good entrance point, and an excellent way to get back into the business. Plus, it brought back my drive to write! When I lost what I was working on so many years ago, I did save what had already been posted, and I’m starting to get excited about the idea of working on the novels again. I’m starting to feel like that part of me is starting to come alive again, and it’s a feeling I don’t want to lose.
I’m looking forward to sinking into writing again. I’m happy I can feel my dreams again, and how real they are starting to seem. I’m grateful that part of me never gave up, and found a way into a way to live my dreams.