Many of us will remember as children being told what to, and what not to talk about with others. Many times, I remember being yelled at by my mother for talking about, what to me, seemed like a small incident or occurrence in the house. What made it worse for me, is that somehow the rules about communication that applied to me, somehow did not apply to my parents or older family members.
As such, it often was, and still is, very difficult for me to reach out and try to communicate with others. In truth, it’s easier for me to write a blog than hold a conversation. And my case, is relatively minor when compared with what others I know of went through, and are still trying to heal from.
And healing is a life-long journey. One of the first steps in healing, and one of the hardest, is to do exactly what we were told not to do as children…talking to others. This doesn’t mean that you talk to everyone about your pain, but it does mean that with a close group of friends, you can learn to open up and speak about your pain, past and present. It is through this communication that we can find that the pain we thought was specific to us, the lies that we were told, are not so unusual. We can find that others have had similar experiences, and similar pain. We can find a shared connection and know that our friends understand our fear, our hesitation, our need to be heard. Most importantly, we can learn that the lies we were told are just that, lies. We can give ourselves permission to stop believing them so that we can let go of the pain that was created by them in the first place.
Friendship to me is more than just people that you hang out with to have a good time. My closest friends have opened up about our individual emotional hell on multiple occasions, and we have sat alone in rooms without saying a word, just knowing that each other’s presence was enough. I’ve seen communication between friends create a emotional connection that was palpable in a variety of creative expressions. When we share our emotional bond through our creativity, we can bring forth healing and communication with others. Through sharing our creativity, we can heal the world.
So, to all of my friends, near or far, whether we have met in person or not, I want to say Thank You. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for allowing me to share your pain, and Thank you for sharing mine. Thank you for allowing me to help you heal, and Thank you for helping me heal. Thank you for being You.